Brain Chemistry Chronicles: Pollyanna's Secret

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Pollyanna's Secret

There have been many times in my life when someone with bad brain chemistry (BBC) argued that to pretend to feel happy when you're not happy is phoney. "Don't be a Pollyanna," that person would say, then follow up with a declaration of contempt for those people who are always cheerful or perky.

I must admit that from time to time I was one of those Pollyanna-hating people. And the only reason I felt that way is because I couldn't believe that anyone could be that happy--even Pollyanna had to be putting it on. And to fake feelings you don't have is contemptible.

But as I eventually learned, there are people who are that happy. They have good brain chemistry and a happy disposition. And maybe in addition to being blessed with those good traits, they've learned to look on the bright side of life, so that even when they have an occasional sad moment, they talk themselves out of it. And what's wrong with that, anyway? ("Always look on the bright side of life" is, as you may know, a line from a sarcastic song by Monty Python, people with bad brain chemistry, no doubt.)

I think that bad brain chemistry people don't really hate the Pollyannas of the world--they envy them. They want to be happy too, so they try to figure out how they can get there. What they come up with, however, is based on false data, the data they invent in their efforts to determine why they are currently unhappy.

For example, a BBC person feels bad, but doesn't realize he's feeling bad because of bad brain chemistry, so he goes off in search of a reason in his environment. He scrutinizes his life, his work, his family, his friends, his health, the government, the air--you get the picture. With all that scrutiny, he's bound to find something that bothers him. Let's say he picks his work. There he finds a rigid, obnoxious boss with whom he's had numerous clashes. But there's more to dislike at work. There are also his coworkers, who are uncreative apple-polishers; and there's the work itself--boring and beneath his talents. He might go on, finding other faults with his job to add to the already tall stack of grievances. No wonder he's so unhappy! Who could be happy in such a place? So he starts looking for a better job, one where he's appreciated for his intelligence and where he's surrounded by interesting, creative people. And if he's really in the throes of BBC-inspired zeal, he may quit right away, all the better to spend time looking for that perfect job.

But of course there is no perfect job. Even if he finds a job that is closer to ideal than the one he has now, he'll soon find something wrong with that one too, and the cycle will begin again. And again. Such is the nature of the quest for happiness that doesn't take into account the main cause of unhappiness: bad brain chemistry.

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About this blog . . .

I created this blog as a place to write about my day to day struggles with what I call bad brain chemistry. In discussing those struggles, I also share my theories about bad brain chemistry and how its effects can be mitigated.

I started this project about 20 years ago, when depression and other bad moods were making my life miserable. A man I met during that time (now my husband) convinced me that I had to change; a therapist who offered medication scared me into finding a way to change. The result was my theory of brain chemistry, which goes beyond merely labeling mood disorders as physical phenomena and finding medication to fix them. I seek to explain bad brain chemistry in a way that shows the disorder to be rational and naturally human, and dealing with it something that a human can do through rational thought.

As I go along with this blog, I'll talk more about this theory and how I think people who have this condition tend to deal with it.

You're welcome to join me!

My Theory of Bad Brain Chemistry, Part I

My theories are based on how my mind works, but I think that I'm not alone, that other people share this problem with brain chemistry that doesn't work well in the modern world. My idea is that the way my brain works was advantageous at some point in the history of humanity. People like me, hyperalert people, were useful to human society because they were extremely aware of their environment.

In a situation where people are in constant danger of being devoured by predators, or attacked by human enemies, those who are hyperalert make good scouts, good watchers, good guards. Also useful to people who must hunt for food every day in order to eat are those who are good at seeing animal prey, noticing and remembering their patterns, their behavior, their defenses, their smell. And those who know how to find edible plants or other important items such as reeds or flints or underground sources of water will also be valued by their group.

Unfortunately, in modern society (especially middle class Western society), there's less need for hyperalert people because there's less danger from predators. And there's very little need to hunt down food or water or tools in one's surroundings--we can simply go to a store to get all those things, or even better, have them brought to us.

In this situation, being hyperalert is not only no longer an advantage; it seems instead a disadvantage. In fact, it's often thought of as a disability instead of a highly valued ability. I have only to cite the disruptive effect of hyperalertness on the modern elementary classroom to make my point. What has been termed ADD--attention deficit disorder--is to me hyperalertness, a condition of the brain that is not so much an inability to pay attention, as it is an inability to stop paying attention.

And it is this condition of hyperalertness, I believe, that can lead to depression, anger and other moods that make life quite difficult for many people, including me. What was once good brain chemistry is now deemed bad and in need of fixing.