Brain Chemistry Chronicles: For Lack of a Brain Transplant

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

For Lack of a Brain Transplant

Sometimes I wish I didn't have this problem so I could actually fully enjoy life. Do the drugs designed for this malady really help? Do they really take it away? The one time I tried SSRIs they made me feel good for a while, but was an artificial good, a drug-induced high, a feeling I knew wouldn't last. And before long, they did nothing for me. When I tried to up the dosage, they made my heart flutter, an unfortunate side effect. Some people are helped, apparently, and are satisfied with SSRIs. But helped is not the same as cured. No drugs offer what the brain-chemistry-challenged really want: a brain transplant.

But is it a good idea to whine about a malfunctioning brain? No. People may feel sympathy, but since there's nothing they can do about your trouble, eventually they'll turn away. If you're always carrying your gloom cloud, few people will be able to stand being around you for long because that gloom is infectious. And some people are aggressive with their gloom--sort of a not-so-nice combo platter of fear and anger. They're miserable, but also angry that people around them are not miserable too, so they do their best to dispel any sunshine. Sort of like the dementors.

As much as I hate the relentless marketing of antidepressants, I have to say that at least the ads are making the issue one people can talk about. And lately I've noticed the actual depiction of a gloom cloud in one of the ads. (But I must say the people carrying the clouds don't look miserable enough.) It's too bad what they're advocating is that people who suffer from bad brain chemistry should take more and more drugs: If one isn't doing the trick, try two or three!

Anyway, I guess the answer is to just keep doing what I'm doing, since at least it allows me a measure of happiness.

1 comment:

jostacloAugust 1, 2011 at 12:55 AM
Beats being worm food- that measure of happiness. 8~)
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About this blog . . .

I created this blog as a place to write about my day to day struggles with what I call bad brain chemistry. In discussing those struggles, I also share my theories about bad brain chemistry and how its effects can be mitigated.

I started this project about 20 years ago, when depression and other bad moods were making my life miserable. A man I met during that time (now my husband) convinced me that I had to change; a therapist who offered medication scared me into finding a way to change. The result was my theory of brain chemistry, which goes beyond merely labeling mood disorders as physical phenomena and finding medication to fix them. I seek to explain bad brain chemistry in a way that shows the disorder to be rational and naturally human, and dealing with it something that a human can do through rational thought.

As I go along with this blog, I'll talk more about this theory and how I think people who have this condition tend to deal with it.

You're welcome to join me!

My Theory of Bad Brain Chemistry, Part I

My theories are based on how my mind works, but I think that I'm not alone, that other people share this problem with brain chemistry that doesn't work well in the modern world. My idea is that the way my brain works was advantageous at some point in the history of humanity. People like me, hyperalert people, were useful to human society because they were extremely aware of their environment.

In a situation where people are in constant danger of being devoured by predators, or attacked by human enemies, those who are hyperalert make good scouts, good watchers, good guards. Also useful to people who must hunt for food every day in order to eat are those who are good at seeing animal prey, noticing and remembering their patterns, their behavior, their defenses, their smell. And those who know how to find edible plants or other important items such as reeds or flints or underground sources of water will also be valued by their group.

Unfortunately, in modern society (especially middle class Western society), there's less need for hyperalert people because there's less danger from predators. And there's very little need to hunt down food or water or tools in one's surroundings--we can simply go to a store to get all those things, or even better, have them brought to us.

In this situation, being hyperalert is not only no longer an advantage; it seems instead a disadvantage. In fact, it's often thought of as a disability instead of a highly valued ability. I have only to cite the disruptive effect of hyperalertness on the modern elementary classroom to make my point. What has been termed ADD--attention deficit disorder--is to me hyperalertness, a condition of the brain that is not so much an inability to pay attention, as it is an inability to stop paying attention.

And it is this condition of hyperalertness, I believe, that can lead to depression, anger and other moods that make life quite difficult for many people, including me. What was once good brain chemistry is now deemed bad and in need of fixing.